Where were you on September 11, 2001? Our Lower School students don’t remember. The vast majority, all but a few fifth graders who were infants, were not yet alive. 
So what should we tell them? What are appropriate messages about 9/11/01 for Lower School students?
Those of us who were part of the Schechter Westchester Lower School community a decade ago share a collective memory of September 11, 2001. It was Hadavar Hanachon (Do The Right Thing) day – the inauguration of our intensive character education program. Students and teachers all wore t-shirts saying Hadavar Hanachon and were participating in a day dedicated to the celebration of helping others. When another administrator first whispered to me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center I was with our fifth graders, who were helping our Kindergarteners to plant flowers on the school grounds. As the day unfolded we set up a television in the faculty room where teachers listened intently to the news and checked in with loved ones in lower Manhattan. Still, we continued on with our school celebrations, not wanting to unnerve our students before we determined what to tell them.
For the first several years after 9/11/01 we had moving, age-appropriate commemorations, but as the years passed and fewer and fewer of our Lower School students remembered the day we stopped. Since 9/11/01 we have grappled thoughtfully with responsible ways of addressing frightening news events with children, striving as a rule of thumb to create spaces where we talk regularly, answer questions honestly, and make a sincere effort not give more information than children are ready to absorb. This year, in our ongoing attempt to interpret that guidance on speaking to Lower School students about frightening events, we at Schechter Westchester Lower School agreed that, just like in the past few years, we would not address September 11th in our Lower School.
As reflective educators, we question our decision and wonder if we have a history to reclaim. As much of the country commemorated the day with acts of service to others, we remember a day that was, paradoxically, dedicated to celebrating care for others. The potent memories of that painful day have prevented me from holding another Hadavar Hanachon Day since. The Hadavar Hanachon t-shirt I wore that day sits at the bottom of a drawer untouched as if wearing it would bring back the horrific memories. Yet over the weekend, I began to reconsider. Perhaps September 11th every year at our school should be a Hadavar Hanachon Day on which we acknowledge goodness, both ordinary, everyday goodness and more courageous acts in the face of adversity. Perhaps that is the most appropriate way to honor the memory of those who perished and those who helped on September 11, 2001.
And so, I bring the question to our community, to grapple with collaboratively for future years. Perhaps there are some humble ways of claiming our collective communal memory of September 11, 2001 as an annual Hadavar Hanachon Day. Please share your thoughts in comments on this blog and in face-to-face conversations. I welcome the thoughtful dialogue.
