It’s Not about the Gifts!

I hadn’t intended to blog about Chanukah this year since I tend to address hot issues for our parents, and Chanukah was not on the list of topics, or so I thought.

Just yesterday, two concerned families individually shared one potent message with which our school entirely agrees – it’s not about the gifts!

Families in our community choose to observe Chanukah in a wide range of ways and have varying perspectives on the place of gifts in our celebrations. Some believe strongly that gifts are out of place on Chanukah. Other families wish they could give gifts but are not financially able to or are stretching to provide modest gifts. Others enjoy the exchange of presents symbolizing the appreciation they feel for one another. We respect all approaches.  But most of all, we respect children and their sensitivities.

This year there have been some exuberant conversations among children describing their gifts. They have not meant to cause discomfort, yet inadvertently they have. Our teachers will be gently guiding classroom conversations away from gifts and towards other, substantive components of the celebration of Chanukah. I share this with our families so that as conversations about gifts arise, you consider speaking with your children about your perspectives on gift giving, support them to understand that different families have different customs, and help them to embrace your own practices.

It’s not about the gifts!  It’s about the values and teaching by doing and by example.

OK, it’s a little about the gifts – but in the spirit of Gemilut Chasidim (Social Action), it’s not what we receive, rather what we share.  Working with Westchester Jewish Community Services, our students and families filled requests of more than 140 children whose families cannot afford holiday presents. We provided gifts for the children of teen mothers who are going to school and seeking employment. We supplied presents for needy babies and elementary school age children through local community clinics.

In a modern twist on Chanukah, our fifth grade Hebrew classroom visited the Amit School in Meitar, Israel – a suburb of Beer Sheva in the south of Israel via Skype. Our students and their partner fifth graders in Meitar celebrated together: lighting the chanukiah (menorah) and singing Hebrew holiday songs. They played dreidle and with each spin asked one another questions about the holiday in Hebrew. Our children enjoyed celebrating with new Israeli friends, speaking with them exclusively in Hebrew, and nurturing Ahavat Yisrael (Love of Israel).

Each of the three school days during Chanukah we are joining together as a kehilah (community) with a joyous school-wide Tefilah U’Shmirat Mitzvot (Prayer and the Observance of Mitzvot) and a lighting of the chanukiah (menorah). Each day is dedicated to a different theme: light, heroism, and miracles.  Thursday evening we will enjoy a Chanukah dinner and celebration coordinated by our PTO.

Let’s not forget the arts. In the school’s front hall there is a display of creative chanukiyot (menorahs) designed and built at home by students as a means of self-expression through ritual art. Additionally, our choir has been singing each of the weekday evenings of Chanukah at the Ritz Carlton in downtown White Plains, bringing a love of Jewish music and celebration to the broader community. We even made it onto News 12 Westchester!

Did I leave out any of our core values? There is Talmud Torah (Love of Learning) – engaged, substantive learning in classes throughout the school about the meaning of Chanukah. With Kavod (respect), I end this post where I began – let us all strive together to support our children to be respectful of the range of perspectives in our community about gift giving and remember, whether or not we give gifts – it’s not about the gifts!

Chag Urim Sameach - Wishes for a joyous Chanukah celebration!

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